Too old for twinkle toes?

The old saying goes "You're only as old as you feel," but women have been told time and time again which trends and styles are inappropriate for certain ages.

No one ever covered the "glitter pedicure" expiration date.

I'm turning 31 next week, and had to do some thinking before giving myself a "mermaid pedicure" the other day. I thought to myself (really deep stuff here, people) "Am I too old for glitter toes?" I called to my husband to get his opinion. He responded the way you might think. (Shrug) "I dunno. ...No?" I figured I was indeed still young enough for glitter toes. After all, toes are like Halloween, right? It's like a free pass to be crazy. Afterall, I could just hide my glittery toes in "age-appropriate" footwear.

Look no further than pinterest, and you'll find women spending insane amounts of time painting miniature works of art onto their fingers and toes. What do you think? What age is the cutoff for glittery toes?

No woman is an island

"Is anyone else in here?"

As far as I could tell, I was alone. There were no other signs of life, besides the crawling ivy in the corner. After months of solitude, I ran into a woman on the same mission. I only saw her once after that. What became of her?

Darn it. I forgot my watch. How would I know how long I had been in here? All I can hear is the shuffle of feet, the rush of water, and a gust of wind.

Out of desperation, I decided to leave a note. "Is anyone else using this room?" A half a day passed. No response. Was I really the only one? Clearly, if there were others, I would have known by now.

Pumping breastmilk at work can be lonely business.

It's funny how in every human experience, we just want to know we're not alone.

Even though I may be the only woman using this section of the bathroom (yes, bathroom), I've come to the conclusion that I need to leave a legacy. You see, when I first started pumping, there was only an accordian style partition, a couch, and outlets. And I've been to the nursing mother's Mecca. I've seen what it can be like. It can be keypad locked rooms, pumps provided, posters, multiple pumping stations, a sink, fridge, and lots of happy moms to talk to (and commiserate with). This was not the worst, but definitely not the best. It had motion-sensored light. And you guessed it; since I was sitting behind the partition, the light would turn off every few minutes. This is especially fun when trying to transfer milk from a bottle to a storage bag.

Since landing on this lonely island, I've acquired a storage unit/table, a plant, lamp, reading material, and a bulletin board. It feels homey now, and less like borrowed space.

When I emerge from isolation to wash my pump parts, I sometimes get strange looks. But more often than not, I get stories. Stories of how pumping was for her last month, or last year or even ten years ago. Things have changed. And that's when it hits me. Even when I'm sitting behind that curtain, in my mom cave, doing the strangest, yet most natural thing for my baby (with no one to talk to); I'm not alone.

Febrile Seizures

Fever Induced Seizures: A MUST READ for all parents of young children

Please take the time to read this quick article, so you can be prepared if your child experiences a fever induced seizure, known as a febrile seizure. Any child can have a febrile seizure, but some are more prone than others. If you don't know what to expect, they can be terrifying. Febrile Seizures are described by the Mayo Clinic as "a convulsion in young children that may be caused by a sudden spike in body temperature, often from an infection. Watching your child experience a febrile seizure can be alarming. And, although a febrile seizure may last only a few minutes, it may seem like an eternity to you."

My son, who is now two, first had a febrile seizure around age one. He wasn't showing any signs of illness. He just seemed... off. He seemed very limp and tired. At the time, I wasn't sure what was going on, but it was around naptime, so I thought maybe he was overly tired. My husband and I were trying to figure out why he was crying, and all of a sudden, he began to seize. His body jerked, eyes rolled back in his head, and foamed at the mouth. Once he stopped seizing, he had a vacant look in his eyes, and just drooled. We had no idea what was going on, and rushed to the hospital. He had a fever of 103.7.

According to the Mayo Clinic, "febrile seizure symptoms can range from mild - rolling of the eyes - to more severe shaking or tightening of the muscles. A child having a febrile seizure may:

Have a fever usually higher than 102 F (38.9 C)
Lose consciousness
Shake or jerk the arms and legs on both sides of the body
Roll his or her eyes back in the head
Have trouble breathing

Most febrile seizures occur because of a sudden spike in body temperature, and most occur during the first day of a fever. But a febrile seizure may also develop as the fever is declining. The severity of the signs and symptoms doesn't necessarily reflect the level of the fever either. They can be caused by fevers associated with viral or bacterial infections or post-immunization fevers and are most likely to occur in children between 6 months and 5 years of age. About 1 in 25 children experience a febrile seizure and it is possibly genetically inherited."

WHAT TO DO:

Don't restrain your child, but do place him or her on a safe surface, such as a carpeted floor.

Place your child on his or her side, keeping the face to the side and the lower arm extended under the head, to prevent your child from inhaling vomit if vomiting occurs.

Stay close to watch and comfort your child.

Loosen any tight or restrictive clothing.

If your child had anything in his or her mouth when the seizure began, remove it. And, don't place anything in your child's mouth during a seizure because doing so can cause choking.

If a seizure lasts longer than five minutes, seek emergency care.

It's not necessary to lower your child's fever to stop a febrile seizure. So don't try to give your child fever medications during a seizure. For the same reason, don't place your child in a cooling tub of water. It's much more practical, more comfortable - and safer - for your child to remain lying on the carpet or a bed.

Most febrile seizures stop on their own within a couple of minutes. If your child has a febrile seizure that lasts more than five minutes - or if your child has repeated seizures - call for emergency medical attention. Giving your child acetaminophen (Tylenol, others) or ibuprofen (Advil, Motrin, others) at the first indication of fever will help reduce the fever, but won't necessarily prevent a seizure.

I am not a doctor, so if you have questions, please contact your pediatritian. Much of this information was provided by the Mayo Clinic. If you would like more information, please visit www.mayoclinic.com/health/febrile-seizure/DS00346

To co-sleep or not to co-sleep...

I consider myself a crunchy mom. You know, "granola"... a modern hippie. I buy into attachment parenting, I (used to) use cloth diapers, I wear my baby, I breastfeed, and I co-sleep. Well, sort of. I'm a working mom, so sometimes it's hard to do all of the AP mom stuff I'd like to do. Would I rather wash my umpteenth load of cloth diapers, or spend time with my kids? I had to sacrifice the cloth diapers. Co-sleeping, also known as sleep-sharing, however, seemed like a no-brainer. I work full-time and this seemed like a great way to reconnect with my babies at the end of a long day.

When my first son was born, he was what you call a "high need baby." He needed to be constantly held and soothed, and I was eager to respond to all of his needs. He was always in the mood to nurse; I don't remember a time when he would turn it down. It was only natural that we would co-sleep, and so we did. He nursed all day and nursed all night. At daycare, he did fine with a bottle, but he made up for it on evenings and weekends, and I was happy to oblige. He never really slept through the night; he always woke up to nurse. It wasn't until he about 18 months that he began to sleep in a crib, sleep through the night, and like it. This was perfect for me and my husband, since I was pregnant with our second son and nervous that we all couldn't successfully co-sleep.

When my youngest was born, we tried the side-carriage, but it just wasn't as convenient as co-sleeping. So into the bed he came. My second son is very easy going, and only nurses to eat or fall back asleep. He doesn't dawdle. All the while, my oldest was sleeping in his room. It was going great.

Until about a month ago.

My now two year old decided he was done with the crib. Not only did he "voice" his opinion by screaming, biting and scratching, but he also proved this to me by silently climbing out of his crib and stealthily low crawling into our bed in the middle of the night. He was NOT feeling the big boy bed. My husband and I took turns falling asleep with him in his big boy bed, only to sneak out later in the night. When he finally did realize we were gone, he "voiced his opinion" again. My husband resorted to sleeping all night in the "big boys bed."

Maybe he just didn't want to sleep alone. I was willing to indulge him. After all, plently of families successfully co-sleep, so why couldn't we?

Our first night with the family bed was a novelty. My infant in the middle, as usual, and my toddler at the foot of the bed. After the "milk please, milk please, milk please," "milk is night-night," argument, we all slept great. We tried again the next night, but the novelty had since worn off. I was a referee all night, keeping my active-sleeping toddler from trampling all over me, my husband, and the baby. One night, my toddler actually wanted to leave the bed. This game of musical beds was wearing on all of us. My husband and I argued more, rarely had time to hug, let alone talk, and it was never exactly quite what anyone wanted. We were so frustrated with our son, that we raised our voices and ineffectively disciplined. I was at my wits end.

Another thing that boggled my mind was that my two year old was so well-behaved at daycare (read "perfect angel") and slept independently with no problems! At home, he was whiney, clingy, and screached and scratched when he didn't get his way. What was I doing wrong?? And why wasn't this beautiful, wonderful, natural thing working for us???

Desperate, I foraged for information and settled on reading three different behavioral/sleep books.

Break the Co-Sleeping Habit by Valerie Levine, PH.D.

The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers - Elizabeth Pantley

Mothering Your Nursing Toddler [Book] by Norma Jane Bumgarner

In the beginning, I felt like I had the devil (Break the Co-Sleeping Habit) on one shoulder and the angel (Mothering Your Nursing Toddler) on the other. The No-Cry Sleep Solution was a happy medium. All in all, I feel I took a little from each book in my nighttime approach. The Mothering Your Nursing Toddler book made me feel better about nursing a two year old, and I convinced myself that I would feel better about nursing him if I set limits, especially by ending the co-sleeping. The No-Cry Sleep solution gently reminded me that my toddler was indeed able to be night-weaned. The Break the Co-Sleeping Habit was the stiff drink I needed that gave me the cojones to do what deep down I knew needed to be done.

We were ending the co-sleeping.

My seven month old seemed game for anything. As long as he nursed when he wanted, and had a blankie by his side, he was happy. My two year old... not so much. We started on a Friday night. It was exactly what you'd expect, a nightmare. He "went to bed" at 7:30, but didn't fall asleep until 9:30. We followed "Break the Co-Sleeping Habit" instructions to the letter. He woke up at 12:30 and resisted until 2:30. He woke up again at 3:00 am. He did not protest this time. He woke up and came into our room at 5:00 am on Saturday. We figured it was time to get up. He took his nap on Saturday, and come bedtime, he went down with minimal fuss. He did wake up a few times in the night, but was not difficult to resettle. Sunday night was a disaster, mainly because he refused to nap. The nights aren't perfect, but they sure aren't any worse than they were before. In fact, something amazing has happened.

His day time behavior has done a complete 180. He is sweet, affectionate, obedient, and demonstrative. He is just a pure pleasure to be around. Bedtime is predictable and consistent and he has two parents that love him and are patient with him. We respect him as a person, but have definitely found our authority as parents. And it seems like he responds to that.

No, bedtime isn't perfect, but it's getting better. And yes, I loved co-sleeping for a season, but seasons change. It's not right for us anymore, but that's ok.

Is there something you were committed to doing for your children, but it wasn't best for them?

Breast friends

To all the women out there breastfeeding on maternity leave, this post is for you. I know how scary a double electric pump can be. All the parts and attachments can be intimidating. You might even be thinking about giving up breastfeeding once you go back to work, because the thought overwhelms you. I'm here to tell you that, surprisingly, it's actually not that bad.

I am a working mom in the military, and am still pumping for my 7 month old. I had a class today that was a couple of hours long, meaning it would interfere with my routine pump time. It's always a gamble telling a stranger that I will have to leave their class or meeting for about 20 minutes to pump. Surprisingly enough, most employers, bosses, and instructors are more than accomodating.

I walked in and saw that my instructor was actually a work buddy from a leadership course a few years back. She was happy to see me and greeted me with a hug. I later approached her to let her know that I was still nursing, and had to pump every three hours. (She is single and has no children.) She seemed excited to tell me that it was "absolutely no problem whatsoever" and told me to leave whenever I felt I had to. She even hovered her hands over her chest when she said if I felt like I "had to pump!" It was very sweet.

It's funny, because, in the workplace, breastfeeding seems like such a secret society sometimes. Until you bring it up, you don't realize how much it's effected other people's lives. Even when I tell male instructors, or male supervisors, they tell me how they remember when their wives did the same thing, and do whatever I have to do. People seem proud to inform me that they fully support what I'm doing. It's actually quite refreshing.

It reminds me of being in the military. (Stay with me here!) Every now and then, someone will thank you for your service. You might not know it, but that really touches a servicemember's heart. It really makes us feel special and appreciated. Most of us are proud to serve, and don't need thanks, but it sure is nice when it happens. Maybe you're one of those people that thanks veterans. Or maybe, you want to say thank you to a person in uniform, but you feel awkward doing it. So, instead, you smile. Breastfeeding is kind of the same way. Most of the time, you're proud of your "service," but sometimes, it does feel like a sacrafice. It's nice to know that your what you're doing for your baby is supported. You don't have to walk up to a woman nursing in public (covered or uncovered!) and say "thank you," but maybe instead of staring at her, give her a polite, knowing smile.

Thank you to all the people out there that have accomodated my breastfeeding and supported my journey!

App Review - Choiceworks Picture Schedule

If you are tired of printing, laminating, cutting, snapping pictures, velcro, and cumbersome schedules, look no further! 

First and foremost, if you have the money, I recommend the purchase of an iPad.  This is one of the most amazing investments for your child, particularly if they are visual learners.  My son has responded immediately to this app.  ABA Therapists and parents spend hundreds of dollars on board makers and schedule makers.  This app was $9.99.

Not only does it come filled with pre-set pictures, but you can snap a picture with your iPad, label it, and give it audio, and include it in your schedule.  You can publish the schedules on iTunes.  You can make multiple schedules for different users.  I can't say enough about this app. 

For example, my son will fight the nighttime routine, but if we look at the schedule, he feels compelled to complete the tasks, and seems relieved to see the routine listed for him. 

It's easy to use, has a rewards system, you can time activities; LOVE IT!

Choiceworks Picture Schedule, Feelings Chart iPad App by Bee Visual

Autism - Awareness Isn't Enough

Awareness isn't enough.  To be aware simply means you have knowledge of something.  It implies a degree of indifference.  You can be aware, or observe, without feeling one way or another.  You are not denying its existence.  You can be aware of just about anything, but don't necessarily have to show acceptance. 

Acceptance on the other hand, is showing approval.  For example, let's say I give you a gift.  If you told me you were aware of the gift; that sounds cold.  But if you accept a gift, it has the connotation that you embrace or welcome it.

That's why, to me, awareness isn't enough.  Yes, autism exists.  We can't deny that.  But as a people, are we accepting of it?  How can we embrace it?  How can we adjust our lives to accomodate it, not just be "aware" of it?   

                                        Support acceptance without saying they're a puzzle:
                     http://www.wired.com/geekmom/2012/04/support-neurodiversity-at-thinkgeek/